| So the sun is now setting upon the last embers of hazy ash that has been one of the longest and most trying years of my mere 23. I give myself no pats on the back for making it through the drama of this year with my sanity somewhat in tact. Rather I give thanks that it is all behind me, and keep my head up high to see the future. If I could bury 2003 in a box I would do so and build a fire with such fury as to send all the evil seeds planted in this year straight back to the hell from which they found me. I give tremendous thanks to those who have always stood by my side through all the times of just silly happiness right down to the gritty decay of drama. Those are true friends whom I hold most dear in my hearts. I always gave respect out on loan, and those who chose to abuse that privelage lost it. But those who took heed and care of my own feelings as well, nourished it into a long withstanding loyalty of which I will never fail to uphold. I have learned a lot in this year. I have cried enough tears in my lifetime to fill oceans, which is my most primal force within which drives me opposite to appreciate every smile, every beauty, every blessing in this Godforsaken society of ravenous appetites forcefed upon weakness and greed. I never want to face those demons I defeated and overcame in my past ever again. I refuse to ever bow down and break before anyone. Those who care would never ask that of me and those who dont can go to fucking hell. I really have eliminated all the negativity from my life, and even though life will never be perfect, and there is no such thing as a long moment of total content, I am suffice to say that I am trying with every breath I take, and each new day I awaken to LIVE. I don't know what was going on in the universe this year that turned it cosmically upside down and inside out for not only myself, but for others as well with whom I have talked comparatively. My only wish is for this next year to be like a phoenix risen from the ashes of a most needed and timely death of that which was working to destroy me from the core. I hope with all my heart that no matter the circumstance life has chosen to lead me into, I will always prevail to see through to the light at the end. I walk into 2004 with a breath of fresh air in my lungs and a light in my heart filled with all the hope and belief that yet another opportunity has been seized and opened. I say goodbye to 03 without a second glance back to all the turmoil and deceit I leave behind with all those who had their own ulterior motives for my friendship in their hopeless lives. We reap what we sow and I know that to all those who have made the choice to lie and connive, you are not untouchable from the karmic backlash headed your way. Whether I will be that karmic bitchslap, or it be delivered by another, one way or another there is no detour from destiny. In some form or another we are always repaid by what it is we have portrayed. I do want to wish each and every one of you guys who I have some sort of fondness toward a very happy and most prosperous New Year. May your life be filled with all the richness within your hearts, may your hearts be filled with all the love within your actions, and may your actions pave the road to a satisfying and uplifting future that I know you deserve. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!~ |
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